I've had a mixed few days. Yesterday, I actually met up with my mother. I've not seen her for over a year and I'd be lying if I were to say that I wasn't using the bus trip into town feeling a little het up about it. Yesterday morning I actually felt physically ill. People tell me not to bother with her, but she's my mother...and as we all know I'm loyal to an absolute fault. It was strange though...it was almost like meeting a stranger. We had nothing in common, right down to her wanting to have a coffee at a place that...well...let's just say that Starbucks would have been a hundred times better. After offloading about her job, her ex husband (John) and her current husband (Nigel), she actually asked me how I was doing with my Sociology course at Uni. After correcting her nicely, I spoke for two or three minutes before she was all but shooing me away. "Time for you to go now? I've got to go and meet Nigel." Thanks mum. So after an hour, I was on the bus back home. An hour.
The plus side is that I now have a copy of 'Restoree', and I grabbed a copy of Teri Hatcher's 'Burnt Toast' from the pound shop. (I kid you not...poor Teri). I also went into the CPL for an hour and a half or so...so my day wasn't entirely wasted.
Today I got my beaded dragon through the post. Someone from MoM and myself did a craft trade. A dagger for the dragon, and it really is the most wonderful thing. It's on my bedside desk at the moment, although eventually it'll be on or in my McCaffrey bookcase. I also took Nathan to see 'Wall.E', and despite myself I really enjoyed it. Nathan behaved himself whilst he was there (although to be honest, the children normally behave whenever I'm looking after them. I'm a good sport but they know I don't take any nonsense from them) and we shared a bag of skittles and watched a decent film. A quick trip back to aunties house and we got things sorted for the car-boot sale Uncle and I are going to be doing on Sunday.
All was well until halfway through the barbecue grandad did for dinner. My grandparents decided to fall out over a potato. I kid you not. A potato. The problem is that they're both too stubborn to apologise, which makes for an hour or two of them sitting in silence before one of them speaks. It wasn't a big thing, every couple - be it a romantic pairing, siblings, friends etc - have their petty arguments, but still. A potato.
I think I'll read the Burnt Toast book when I have my break from the 'net. I've been thinking about said break a lot today. How wonderful it will be to just get away from it all. Fantastic to just get away from all the people and get back a little bit of perspective. I don't know why things seem to be getting to me more over the past couple of days. My mood has been generally dampened since Will decided to be a git and cancel 'Wicked'. It's not because of the show...I think it's more the principle. I find it hard to trust people as it is, and when someone does something like that, it kind of sets things back a little.
I don't want to offload on any of my friends, either. Granted, I normally talk about myself and things that have happened to me during conversations in order to keep the conversations going. I do try my best, it's not because I'm self absorbed. But I feel guilty for offloading, and I really, really do not need any of my friends thinking I'm whiny. I can be sometimes. I'm human. But still. I just...need to get away from people. I need room to actually breathe. For a long while now I've felt almost suffocated. Not because anyone is being clingy or whatnot...but because there are a few thoughts/emotions/ideals etc that need to be ironed out and either put in the airing cupboard or in the scrap bag.
